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Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi
beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho
gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua
hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho
gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?
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Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban
gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein
use surprise dunga!
*********************
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane
waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi
tabiyat kharab hai.
*********************
Santa was standing in sun on a hot
sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat
*********************
Santa was looking at a painting for a
long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he
was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
*********************
Santa went to see a gal for marriage.
Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa
asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho
gaye.
*********************
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b
really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is
it gonna be?
*********************
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad
marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale
master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
*********************
Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along
with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the
women & said: No more, no more
*********************
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband
went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something
else.
*********************
A lady calls Santa for repairing door
bell.
Santa doesnt turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm
coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
*********************
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon
ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar
bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
*********************
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala
mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied:
Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
*********************
Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out
of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
*********************
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban
gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein
use surprise dunga!
*********************
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When
did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came
home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
*********************
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2
suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just
trying 2 make me jealous.
*********************
Santa standing on platform suddenly
jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz havent u heard
train is coming on platform?
*********************
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile
& decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry
Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
*********************
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near
the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
*********************
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by
a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! Thats terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the
dog die in convulsions."
*********************
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes
in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it
goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
Santa and Jeeto were on an African
Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
*********************
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
*********************
Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to
Santa use ghur raha tha!
Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!
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Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway steation drop
krne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare.
Train ke engine ko choom liya :*
*********************
Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue
dekh lia he!
Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
*********************
Santa: CHADDI lelo CHADDI..
Girl: Tumhe sharm nhi aati, kya gande
shabd bol rahe ho, koi dusre naam se kehte
.
.
.
Santa: OK!
POND ke KHOL lelo, POND ke KHOL!
*********************
Santa: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Ha
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Ha
Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.
*********************
In exam hall a girl to santa:
Mujhe bas is ans ki starting bata do
baki main likh lungi.
SANTA ne dhyan se idhar-udhar
dekha,fir dhire se bola:
“The”
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Santa shaadi mein khana khane gaya
Par samane Salad ka counter dekh kar
wapis aa gaya
Baahar aakar bola O banta,
abhi to sabzi hi kat rahi he
*********************
Santa ke bete ka acident ho gaya
Dr: Aapke bete k pair katne padenge..
Santa ne apna sir pakda.
Dr: Kya hua
Santa: Kal hi nalayak ko chapal dilai
thi.
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Interviewer: Just imagine, you are in
8th floor,
It caught fire, How will you escape?
Santa: Its very simple,
I will stop my imagination..!!
*********************
Santa was caught for speeding and went
before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or
Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
*********************
Santa found answer to the most
difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo
ayega!
*********************
Banta was driving down the highway
past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
By the time he drove eight kms he had
cleaned 14 toilets.
*********************
Banta: What's the difference between
an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
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Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy
them too!
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Santa: Im a proud father. My son is in
medical college.
Banta: Whats he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are
studying him!
*********************
At a football match ground. Santa: Ye
log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai
hor kinni gol karangey.
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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi
ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of
birth to batao."
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